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He couldn't focus. He couldn't move. All he could do was think about her, her perfect face, her bubbly spark that could make him smile in any situation. Her deep care for everyone whom she loved, and worst of all, he couldn't stop thinking about why had she left. He thought about every silly reason, and he asked everyone who was close to her, they wouldn't tell him, even though he knew they were troubled by it as well. He knew she was strong, and his aching heart, missing the touch of her compassion, the feel of her fingers when she touched him. Deep within him, he was wishing that she was doing okay, that she was still alive and well. That she would come back. But...
Wishes were not enough... He thought back to the times they had spent together, with others and alone together. He thought to the times when he would lay in her lap and they would watch clouds together, or when they would walk together in the park with his dogs, Tiger and Scissors. Or, the time when she healed his knee after he had tripped, the concerned look on her face burning through his mind. It was so vivid that for a moment he thought she was there, and moved his hand to touch the spot she had healed him, feeling his blood throbbing under the skin. it was almost like her warm hand was between his hand and knee. This illusion was only a replay of his memories. And...
Memories were not enough...
His heart burned in his chest, a strong pain ran through his veins as he felt his eyes sting. 'No,' he thought, 'I won't let myself cry. That's not who I am. I have faith in her return. She will come back, I know it.' Tears were in his eyes, and it was against the strong view everyone had of him. He quickly shut his eyes tightly, as if it were going to prevent them from coming out, but he knew it was useless. He opened his eyes as he felt the warm liquid slide down his emotionless face. He pulled his knees into his chest, losing the want to act as if her absence didn't affect him, when, in fact, it hurt him most. He hoped with all of his dying heart that she was okay, that she wasn't facing the same pain as his heart pounded intensely in his chest. He hoped she missed him as much as he missed her, or that she at least remembered the love he had for her and how he would give his life just to see her one last time. But...
Hopes were not enough...
He sat on the top most branch of the tree, looking out towards the moon. He knew it was radiant, but the glow of its light would never shine as bright as she did in his eyes.His eyelids were heavy with sleep, and his eyes pained from crying, as he had been since that afternoon. But he wouldn't dare close them, because in the back of his mind, he knew that he would drift off to sleep, and all he would see is her, all he dream was of the past, of the future, of her. And...
Dreams were not enough... He looked up at the clouds slowly drifting across the sky, and thought of their speed as his life without love, warmth, emotion, happiness, reason, life without her. He thought back to how he was before he met her. To the dark, detached look he had in his eyes. His distant thoughts that were stuck on ways to avoid the world, as the door of his classroom had opened that faithful day, and she had stepped in to the room, into his world. She sat next to him that day, and it was then that she told him of what she saw moments ago: His lifeless eyes had animated like a child when it gets a great surprise. He never forgot when he ran to the bathroom and peered cautiously into the mirror immediately after, astonished with what he saw. His usually dull eyes and pale face were lit up ever so slightly, and he didn't notice it at first, but realized that his cheeks weren't pasty, but faintly pink, as if...A BLUSH!?!
His emotionless look was gone. He couldn't look at her again, couldn't think about her without the fear of her, or anyone for that matter, seeing his emotions brimming over the top, and pouring onto his face. It was when he was running home, leaving her and the school, embarrassed of his actions, that she stopped him in the street, and pulled into the forest. 'Hey... Hello? Are you alive?' He remembers her quiet voice hinted concern as she waved her hand in front of his motionless body. His eyes were squared on her face, as she tried to pull him out of his daze. "Are you okay? Hello? Your face is turning all red... are you getting a fever? Are you going to attack me? Please don't, I'm going to end up hurting you a lot more than you might think.." The last sentence pulling him into the moment. He heard the plead in her voice, saw the worry in her eyes, and watched her step back, releasing the hold she had on his wrist. He was, for once, actually afraid of the threat, coming from her. She was only 11, and he was 13, and those words were full of concern, and as she noticed the fear in his eyes, he closed them, praying she wouldn't attack. And that was when he felt two thin arms wrap around his chest from behind. His eyes flew open and she was gone from her stance in front of him, but he knew she was behind him, and she leaned up to his ear and whispered gently...
Don't fear...He leaned back against the trunk of the tree, watching the moon duck in and out of the silky deep lilac clouds that clearly contrasted the deep violet sky that peeped once in a while from the clouds. The hills were blue-grey in the distance, and on a cliff a little off to his right, a waterfall gleamed brilliantly. For a normal person, this view would have been enough, but to him, it meant nothing, because to him...
Only she was enough…….p.s- my first post on “her”.through “his” eyes……pardon me with the gender switch….
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