Wednesday, September 5, 2012

He believes in Soul mates!

He gets me, thinks i'm beautiful, funny and smart.

He's beautiful and charming. He makes me smile and my knees go weak.. I could listen to his voice for hours. He makes me feel alive and believe in soul mates. He makes me want to be a better person. Does this sound cliché enough yet?

My head over-ruled my heart. He told me he'd wait for me...come back for me. He told me good things come with patience. When I get done whatever it is I need to do, will he be at the other side faithfully waiting?
Probably not, but it's a beautiful thought.
I believe in Soul mates!

Monday, July 30, 2012

VOID......

Disclaimer:

Work of Fiction.. don't bug me people with raised eyebrows.....



A night spent in the realms of my balcony.. thinking about you..
Maybe i'm crazy for feeling this way, stumbling over my heart in the darkest of hours searching for your light. I'm standing here trying to work up the courage to say,I need you in the most beautiful way.
I know how I feel when you're next to me. When i look in your eyes, I'm lost with wonder.
I don't know what next to do..Do i tell you to leave it all behind,make promises I dream to hear,dig deep in my heart and tell you that i love you..whisper sweetness in your ear.
I can say i smiled and spent the best days beside you.
I'll miss you again
I'll miss you hard
I'll miss you always
I'll miss you more and more
Every single day!
As each day closes and comes to an end I'll count the months and days till I can see you again..
The absence of you consumes all of my days..I can’t help but miss you in so many ways
Sometimes the sadness of not having you here Leaves me with doubt and followed by tears I know in my heart that the time passing will heal The ache and the doubt when I can hold you for real!

Now that you are leaving.. to realize your dreams, your true potential. This stupid girl will be waiting for you. Waiting.. with a head strong to be your strength, to make you push further to your dreams.
I might not get to see you as often as I'd like, I may not get to hold you in my arms at night, but deep in my heart I know that it's true. No matter what happens... I will always love you. I wish that I could hold you now... I wish that I could touch you now... I wish that I could talk to you... be with you somehow.
I am not weak to forgo. He says he doesn't believe in weak moments that can drift us apart, so do I. If you love someone more than anything, then distance only matters to the mind and not the heart.
Distance between our hearts will not be an obstacle... rather a beautiful reminder of just how strong true love can be. A lot of people walk in and out of my life, but... you're one of the only ones I ever really wanted to stick around. They say that distances make your strong.. I am so a believer of it.
I am too hopeful and adamant to make things work..Maybe he's doing the same thing as me... maybe he is missing me.. maybe he has still not learnt to iron his clothes and who is now doing it for him.. maybe he still has the same sweet tooth.. maybe he is still cribbing with the taxi driver for the increased fair.. may be he is still too clumsy to take a shower… may be he still cries like a baby when the water is cold.. maybe he still gives that stupid idiotic grin when he is a little high.. maybe he still crack those lame jokes that once made me go crazy..may be his stare still has the spark to make me skip a beat… .. then again, maybe I shouldn't fill myself with false hope that he might just be missing me like I'm missing him. I still will live on hopes.
I sit here and wonder if you understand just how much of me belongs to you.
Late at night when all the world is sleeping, I’ll stay up and think of you... and I wish on a star that somewhere you're thinking of me, too. After all the time that we would be apart…. After we have been through the test of times and the bond so strong.. that longing to see.. to feel the touch again…… I’ll dream of you coming up to me and say that it was worth the wait…. wanted me ……I'd say "yes!... It's about time what took you so damn long!" Missing you isn't the problem, it's wondering if you'll ever come back that's killing me.
I’ll miss the never ending nonsensical talks we used to have, I’ll miss the voice I used to hear... I’ll miss hearing your crazy but cool stories. I’ll miss all the little things. Like him caressing my hair with his fingers… the way he used to watch me sleep…the way we would break into a jig in the middle of the road just because I was this big nautanki… the way he used to make be cross the road like a child… holding my hand in those long chirpy walks late night…I’ll miss cooking for u and cribbing for u watching TV and not standing by my side. I’ll miss u not being there to put ur arms around my waist from behind and trouble me while I am working.. I’ll miss the time spent cozy with you when you were all around me, the the scent and the feel of you. And I’d fall asleep in your arms, with the sound of your heartbeat being the last thing I heard before going to sleep. I ache with longing. Above all these... I’ll just miss you!
I often catch myself constantly wondering how you are, sitting alone with my mind set so far, reminiscing about your smile, voice and touch, damn this life... I'm missing you too much!
I get this feeling we'll be together again. No straight lines make up my life, all roads have bends. Today was just one of those days where everything I did reminded me of you and every song I heard somehow related to you. I hate days like today, because they remind me of the one thing that I won’t have for a while. I've been laying here all night, listening to the rain. Talking to my heart and trying to explain. Why sometimes I catch myself wondering what might have been. Yes I do think about you, every now and then. In this weird twisted way, I know you will miss me too, not because I want to believe it's true, but because you'll never find a girl that can be with you like the way I do, love you the way I do. Just the thought of being with you tomorrow is enough to get me through today. It's YOU. You mean everything to me... you are the first thought in my head in the morning when I wake up; my last thought before I go to bed. You smile at me in my dreams... when you are sad, I fell sad, and when I see your true smile, I feel incredible, like there is no other thing around and all I can see is you. The best feeling in the world is to be millions of miles away and still be able to picture his eyes.

With this I wish you luck.. for all the adventures, explorations, learning and achievements that are in store for you… I am not hopeful, I am sure that you will do wonders. Their will be a heavy heart here waiting anxiously for you. Heavy not for the tears but with those precious moments of joy that are awaiting to be relived again with you… JUST YOU!!!......
P.S: I LOVE YOU 

Sunday, September 25, 2011

lazy dusk........

when i look above..cn c the starts shining so bright ..evn diamonds may feel shy.....covering me in there velvety blanket..looking at me from above.,,,,,telling my quizitive eyes that the one u r missing is missing u too.....n staring us hard to c u through....

Wednesday, June 22, 2011

“Does terror have a religion?”

My take on the aforementioned topic debated on NDTV’s big fight:

Oh no, not this now, don’t start debating on terror also now-categorically!! And what is the point of dragging religion into it anyway, I mean, wasn’t the futile ramps on making political issues on the name of religion enough that we are here debating to add a new asterisk to it in the name of terrorism!!
It’s said and believed, and when I say believed (be it be the fairy tale drama, or sheer-ignorance belief) I do believe, that fear is less when it does not have a face. It is a dark hole with void perhaps, but giving that fear a mask of religion would no longer terrorize, it creates havoc!!
Isn’t it huge enough already? The raging terrorism, destruction, hatred up surging everywhere that we now be so shallow to start debating on the percentage of Hindutva or the Muslim factor, to further trigger the fire.

Who are we? “pokers”!! , that instead of finding means and ways to curb the bloody attacker together we have to stand and comment, rather debate on him wearing an orange robe or a green one!!
Giving “terror” the “freedom” to:
Choose and kill,
Kill and choose
Or no bias: kill all !!

All the permutation & combinations fitting in so well, ironical isn’t it?


P.S: I couldn’t help being sarcastic, so no offends if any “green or orange” sentiments, I did hurt, as I am myself a little BLUE..
Go on people, host big fights (NDTV), or go on debating people, igniting minds and we here will sit and blog about you.
For me, terror is just a filthy fish’s poop in the shallow waters of world , no matter what country’s tailored product it may be.

Monday, June 20, 2011

Purple shorts

Make that purple shorts.

Summer and I don’t really gel well.
Summer hates me and I can’t stand summer!
If I could murder it, I would have done that long back. And the heat really affects my mood. I go mad, like berserk. Start snapping at people like a maniac and all that.
It’s 49.4 degrees in Jaipur. Omg!
What is wrong with the world!
I rather get dragged by camels there than bear the heat.

Oooh by the way, I’ve started meditating. Not proper meditating but it’s more like just sitting in silence for a while and having a completely blank mind. It’s quite a task for someone like me who always has something or the other going on inside. Does your mind hum? Mine does.
In those few minutes, I don’t give a shit to anything else. They can all wait.
With so much happening these days, I thought my poor lil’ head deserved a break. I know I’m sounding like this 50 year old right now but what to do yah!
Am I turning into some sadhu?
Not the ones in orange robes who go wandering off into the forests of course.
More like the ones who are allowed chicken.
And sex.
Aha!

Zach Braff is so adorable in Scrubs.
I want to adopt him :(

Oh and curly hair, I hate you.
Shooo!

Monday, May 16, 2011

Fiction- Little Moments of Joy!!!


Twenty years ago, I drove a cab for a living. It was a cowboy's life, a life for someone who wanted no boss. What I didn't realize was that it was also a ministry. Because I drove the night shift, my cab became a moving confessional. Passengers climbed in, sat behind me in total anonymity, and told me about their lives. I encountered people whose lives amazed me, ennobled me, made me laugh and weep.
But none touched me more than a woman I picked up late one August night. I was responding to a call from a small brick four-plex in a quiet part of town. I assumed I was being sent to pick up some partiers, or someone who had just had a fight with a lover, or a worker heading to an early shift at some factory for the industrial part of town. When I arrived at 2:30 a.m., the building was dark except for a single light in a ground floor window.
Under these circumstances, many drivers would just honk once or twice, wait a minute, then drive away. But I had seen too many impoverished people who depended on taxis as their only means of transportation. Unless a situation smelled of danger, I always went to the door. This passenger might be someone who needs my assistance, I reasoned to myself. So I walked to the door and knocked."Just a minute," answered a frail, elderly voice. I could hear something being dragged across the floor. After a long pause, the door opened.
A small woman in her 80s stood before me. She was wearing a print dress and a pillbox hat with a veil pinned on it, like somebody out of a 1940's movie. By her side was a small nylon suitcase. The apartment looked as if no one had lived in it for years. All the furniture was covered with sheets. There were no clocks on the walls, no knickknacks or utensils on the counters. In the corner was a cardboard box filled with photos and glassware.
"Would you carry my bag out to the car?" she said. I took the suitcase to the cab, then returned to assist the woman. She took my arm and we walked slowly toward the curb. She kept thanking me for my kindness."It's nothing," I told her. "I just try to treat my passengers the way I would want my mother treated.""Oh, you're such a good boy," she said. When we got in the cab, she gave me an address, then asked, "Could you drive through downtown?""It's not the shortest way," I answered quickly."Oh, I don't mind," she said. "I'm in no hurry. I'm on my way to a hospice."I looked in the rear view mirror. Her eyes were glistening. "I don't have any family left," she continued. "The doctor says I don't have very long."I quietly reached over and shut off the meter. "What route would you like me to take?" I asked. For the next two hours, we drove through the city. She showed me the building where she had once worked as an elevator operator. We drove through the neighbourhood where she and her husband had lived when they were newlyweds. She had me pull up in front of a furniture warehouse that had once been a ballroom where she had gone dancing as a girl. Sometimes she'd ask me to slow in front of a particular building or corner and would sit staring into the darkness, saying nothing. As the first hint of sun was creasing the horizon, she suddenly said, "I'm tired. Let's go now."We drove in silence to the address she had given me. It was a low building, like a small convalescent home, with a driveway that passed under a portico. Two orderlies came out to the cab as soon as we pulled up. They were solicitous and intent, watching her every move. They must have been expecting her. I opened the trunk and took the small suitcase to the door. The woman was already seated in a wheelchair."How much do I owe you?" she asked, reaching into her purse."Nothing," I said."You have to make a living," she answered."There are other passengers," I responded. Almost without thinking, I bent and gave her a hug. She held onto me tightly.
"You gave an old woman a little moment of joy," she said. "Thank you."I squeezed her hand, then walked into the dim morning light. Behind me, a door shut. It was the sound of the closing of a life.
I didn't pick up any more passengers that shift. I drove aimlessly, lost in thought. For the rest of that day, I could hardly talk. What if that woman had gotten an angry driver, or one who was impatient at the end his shift? What if I had refused to take the run, or had honked once, then driven away? On a quick review, I don't think that I have done anything more important in my life.



P.S - We're conditioned to think that our lives revolve around great moments. But great moments often catch us unaware--beautifully wrapped in what others may consider a small one.
People may not remember exactly what you did, or what you said ...but they will always remember how you made them feel. The same is what I felt after reading this one. Though fiction but so beautifully drafted that it gives a heart touching joy …that sense of satisfaction and bliss. Couldn’t help acknowledging this one and hence posted to share, a story by ~Barry Kingsley~

Sunday, May 8, 2011

Water without Whiskey can give a kick >>>>>

Sitting in my office, sipping coffee......
(for all those who do not know, yeah even I have joined the league-caffine):P
so ya...sipping coffee and with work load pretty light today enjoying sitting idle and gazing out. Its raining hard, and the streets are empty, trees as if repainted green.
No alcohol can match up the high of the faint smell of wet mud in rains. I have this special fantasy for rains, getting drenched, tend to feel sexy you know :P

Though, I tried to remember the last time I played in the rain like that.
I realised, from the time I’ve turned into this obsessed-with-my-hair maniac, forget playing..I haven’t even walked properly in the rain minus any worries!

Fuck.this.shit.

It’s raining and to hell with everything else! I’m going to go there and break into a dance!

I love twirling umbrellas by the way.
I also do stunts. Umbrella stunts!!!! :P
And then the umbrella gets all weird and refuses to protect me from the rain.

Okay bye.
And today might be my last day at work...I mean if they see me acting like this berk serk maniac in the rain i don't think they"ll risk keeping me....
lol..
Fingers Crossed....


p.s- Finally feeling good, minus all the worries and expectations and feelings and blah blah blah..the ones that were never fulfilled.....RIP you all I am happy being me today.

Wednesday, February 16, 2011

Divine Ragaa


Dedicated to my friend ABC, as though with a thing that he came up with i got a chance to be a part of this great initiative. With my hand on my heart and eyes closed i truely abide by n fervour the step tht u hv taken and my salute to u for tht..

To ABC:

http://www.facebook.com/divineraaga

Bikhara hai sara jahan..na koi hai disha
Yaha pooche har koi.. kaun hai tera khuda?
“vo ‘ek’ hai…or ‘tu’ be ek hai"
“ekism”

Btr thn thousnd hollow wrds..is 1 wrd tht brings peace-”music”-tht hs the ‘DIVINE’ pwr 2 unite us al...it stands halfway b/w thought n phenomenon
Join us..join music..reflect the unity f soul
With wrld cup cmng ovr,alng wit cricket let music run in2 ur blood too.Spread the spirit f ekism..
http://www.youtube.com/divineraaga#p/a/u/1/w5-PH2kYU6A

p.s - btr than anything i wud need ur support here...for a noble cause....fite the evil in u , fyn the uniqueness in ur soul tht binds us all..........